The Black Hat Fiend

The sun did not shine at all that day. It was too wet to play at all. So, we sat in this boring old house. All that cold, cold, cold wet day. I say, I sat there with Jared. We sat there, us two. Too far too few! Oh, what to do? Too wet to go out at all. And too cold to play ball at all or so we thought. We sadly sat in this old house. We boringly did nothing at all. So, all we could do was sadly sit! Sadly sit! Sadly sit! And we did not not like it, not one itsty bitty bit. We had a pet spider but he was not besider.No one was! And then something went bumpty bump! How that bumpty bump made us jumpty jump. Our eyes darted over and over! We saw him step on the mat! We glared! And we watched him! The fiend in the black hat! And he said to us, why must you sit there like that? I know it is way too wet to go out. And the sun is not sunny at all. But we can have lots of the greatest fun that its funny! I know some good games we could play today, say hey, said the fiend in the black hat. I know some new tricky tricks, said the fiend in the black hat. A lot of great tricky tricks. Here I will show them to you. Your mother will definitely not mind, if I do. 

Then Jared and I did not know what to say? But our fish, said absolutely not! Make that black hatted fiend go away! Tell that fiend in the black hat you do not want to play at all. He should not be here at all. He should not be about at all. He should not be here at all when your mother is out of this old house! Have no fear my dearest dear, said the fiend in the black hat. Why, we can have lots of greaty great fun if you wish. With a game I call upity-upity-upity with the fish! Put me down, way down, said the fish. Those drugs are no fun at all! I must go down, said the fish. I do not like it at all. Have no fear said the fiend in the black hat. It is ok to fall all day. I will hold you up high. Here is another ball to fall. 

They will give you the book, if they find out. And here is a drugie cocktail. But that is not all I can do, said the fiend in the black hat. Look at me, wow! Look at me now, said the fiend in the black hat. On the top of my black hat, I can hold up a dish full of drugs. A little toy parachute it goes uppity the buttity. A drugie cocktail, some pills in a cup, what’s up! I can hop up and up on the ball to make it easier to snort it all. But that is not all, I can do. Oh, no whoa! That is not at all! Look at me, now! Look at me, wow! POW! It is great fun to have fun, but you have to know how. I can hold up the cup full of pills, the dish full of drugs, the cocktail, and the toy parachutity. Don’t worry it will not fall AT ALL. As I hop up and up on the ball with drugs. But that is not at all, oh no… 

That is not at all! That is what the black hatted fiend said, then he fell on his head almost dead. 

He came down with a bumpty bump from up there on that ball. This all has to fall and Jared and I we saw all the things fall up. Our fish came down in a spotted pot. He said, I do not like this at all. This is not a game this will bring shame to fame. And it seems quite lame. It wasn’t a given, but we overcame. Now look, what did you do? Said the fish to the black hatted fiend. Now look at this messy old house. Look at this you caused! Look at that you caused! You sank our life! You shook up our things. You should not be here at all. When our mother is out of this old house. Now get out of this old house. Said the fish from the potted spot, but I like it here a lot. Said the fiend in the black hat. I will not go home that easy, I do not wish to go at all! And so, said the fiend in the black hat, so, so, so, so…

I must show you another great fame game that I know! As he ran out as fast as a sly fox, the black hatted fiend came back with a box. This big red box was shut with a hook. Now look at this tricky trick, said the black hatted fiend. Just take a look at this! As he jumped up on top his hat had turned from black to white. I call this game detox-in-a-box, said the friend in the white hat. In this box are two great things. I will show to you. You will like these two great things, said the white hatted friend with a bow. I will pick up the hook and you will see something you have never seen before. I call them self-check one and self-check two. These checks do not hurt at all. They want to make life better. Then out of the box they came as slow as can be. Come shake hands with these checks. He said, we’ll help you! And Jared and I did not know what to do? So, we shook hands, as they said, slow and steady wins the rat race. As our fish was hesitant and oh, so bent. 

Have no fear little fish, said the white hatted friend. These checks will bring great goody goodness. Raising the goody good bar for you. As he gave the fish a little pat without his hat. They are oh so tame! To wash shame to fame! They will bring you to the hall-of-fame, so don’t blame. They have come to flay play. They will bring you so much great fun. On this wet-wet-wet day. Now here is a game that they like to play one-day-at-a-time. They love to take you to the club, so let’s go clubbing and have plenty of meetings and greetings. They hand out phone numbers for the saddest of times. Especially from doing dimes! They will help you build the strongest foundations in any planation. If your mother could see this, she wouldn’t be pist-off at all. The proof is in the pudding. It’s all in who you associate with. Then he packed up the detox-in-a-box and came back with the craziest contraption. And trapped up all those drugs far away from Far-off Fa-doo. 


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