"Who do you love, Now? I want to Know the truth!!!"
"All I want is you baby, I don't love drugs, more than you!"
I am right here for you to love.
I was at a loss of words, when my daughter accused me of loving drugs more than her.
Drugs were my only lover!
My family became disgusted with how I acted. They hated what happened to me. I was still there just changed. I depended on the drug to numbs my pain. My family kept hurting me more. A very treacherously dangerous habit.
99.9% of my Relapse were Environmental Triggers
Fight who's Right
I couldn't intercept my addiction from my brain. I had held on for so long. When I decided that it was time to derail this deranged train-wreck, I had become. My family didn't believe me. I couldn't see why I always ended up be the bad guy.
Doing all the right things, all the wrong ways!
I milked out my addiction for so long. When I finally got out of rehab, I was like a newborn out into the world again about to get re-had. My addiction threw stick and stones, while my family threw names and acquisitions. I was acting like such a baby; I couldn't get the right formula except the crabby patty formula from being re-had. My parent's finally cut me off my pacifier. They had no tolerance for any bullsh*t. I wish my parents would have given me shaken baby syndrome. I now hated myself. I was annoyed and disgusted with how I acted. Like that annoying laughing sponge bobbing for something, called love. For I did not look pretty! When you try to fire yourself, you know it is pretty bad. I was all by myself advertising a horrible role model to my kids. I didn't know what character role I was supposed to be or if I was supposed to be. I can't help it; who is in control of me? I had trained myself to be a train-wreck.
Please, your scaring me! I was biodegradable, my biology was all out of whack and it wasn’t just on Wednesday. I wanted a lifetime of love. I was stuck in a dirty diaper. That no one would help change! There is no reason this should have to be done behind closed doors. Closed to the public, yes! But not with my loved ones. This is the worst cancer anyone could ever have! And if chemo is jail, I don’t want to do it!
I now have a victory royal! I have successfully butchered myself AWAY from my family.