Just wait a cotton-picking minute I am all cleaned up. Things are going great. I have a job. I am getting along with my family. I can’t think of anything I would need more, but what I am still sad and lost. Because that is only the surface cover. Deep down inside everything is still a disaster. This relapse has lasted for four years. That IS A LOT OF BULL SHIT one must clean up after. This is only the tip of the iceberg. I was so dysfunctional at life, when I was under the influence destruction was my best skill. I would plunge my meth into my veins, and I would tear up and destruct anything in sight. Originally my house only needed some TLC, but after I hit it was demolished. I had no clue what I was doing. And for some stupid odd reason everything when I was under the influence seamed ok. I thought I was going to make it better than what it was. All I wanted was a home for my children and me. Now I don’t even have a place to be safe and warm. When I relapse and my family wants me out.