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2019 Stephanie Grosskopf 

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Now What?

Just wait a cotton-picking minute I am all cleaned up. Things are going great. I have a job. I am getting along with my family. I can’t think of anything I would need more, but what I am still sad and lost. Because that is only the surface cover. Deep down inside everything is still a disaster. This relapse has lasted for four years. That IS A LOT OF BULL SHIT one must clean up after. This is only the tip of the iceberg. I was so dysfunctional at life, when I was under the influence destruction was my best skill. I would plunge my meth into my veins, and I would tear up and destruct anything in sight. Originally my house only needed some TLC, but after I hit it was demolished. I had no clue what I was doing. And for some stupid odd reason everything when I was under the influence seamed ok. I thought I was going to make it better than what it was. All I wanted was a home for my children and me. Now I don’t even have a place to be safe and warm. When I relapse and my family wants me out.


Baa baa black sheep, have you any drugs? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full! One for the suffering. One for spite, and for when my family throws me out again.

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