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2019 Stephanie Grosskopf 

  • stephanie grosskopf


Then later in life, I didn’t realize this, but I had a cut on my foot, and I couldn’t get the infection to go away. I remember stating, “I am one big walking infection” and sure enough little did I know my gallbladder stopped working just like my common sense did to fight my disease. At the time I was trying to break up with my boyfriend to rid myself from this infectious addiction. I let spread like the plague. In one of my numerous attempts to get back to my children. But like always after work he showed back up at my house. He did his drug and I did mine. Then suddenly I got sick, he said I had cotton fever. I had no clue, what it was. He said in a couple hours it will pass. So, I tried to sleep next to him. I started to hallucinate. I tried to wake him up. Then I started puking. Next came the runs. I remember at one point being in the neighbor's yard in my robe. Then finally I was puking and shitting at the same time in bed next to him he finally woke up. I was so weak he had to showered me and dressed me. Off to the ER we went. I remember being so hungry. Already on day 3 without eating because of the drugs. Then they told me a liquid diet. I was devastated! I asked my boyfriend to get me a cheeseburger from MC Donalds the nurse said you better hurry up before they get you to your room, but he didn’t come back. I guess my heart rate got so low I almost died. Then to find out I was septic, a longer liquid diet. I was hospitalized for 3 weeks.

Then I got out of the hospital. However, I had drugs at my house, so of course I went straight home back on the stuff again. I started constantly using it now on a daily basis. It was strange, but for some odd reason I could never see the gorilla, but I sensed a one in my basement. I was terrified to go and do my laundry. I am an extremist, so I was always up for days to the point of hallucination. There becomes a profound distortion in a person’s perception of reality. They seem so real, but they are not!

I’m a little needle, short and stout. Here’s my is my plunger; here is my spout. Stick me in and push me out.