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2019 Stephanie Grosskopf 

  • stephanie grosskopf


I can’t feel the love tonight. I have caused too much smite; despite my might to be sober. My family kicked me out again and I wasn’t even using drugs this time. They were so use to my lies and all I knew was deceit. It took me far too long to finally want sobriety. That when I did; they didn’t believe me. I got blamed for everything. I was the broke robot. I fell off the earth and I was too fucked up to remember to use my frequent flyer miles. I was the one that needed fixing. I was the outlaw; I stole their things to use on my house and my boyfriend pawned them off. Because I was the one who couldn’t function before.

They don’t know what it is like to be the bad man. Stand down; something is got to change. We keep going; round for round. Stop badgering me to death! How can I exist in a constant state of crisis? I needed a home with support and guidance. How can I speak life? I can’t get out! At first it was killing me softly, but now I play Russia Roulette. See you on the flip side!

My mom won’t wake up. About how old is she? 39 Hang in there, okay? We’re on our way. Stay with the patient. I’m going to remain on the line with you all the way until the paramedics arrive okay…

“Shampoo is better! No conditioner is better!” I just can’t figure out what is better? Shampoo or conditioner? Cleanup my act or just keep using drugs because my state of being is damaged. Once more I feel defeated. I need someone to love. Everybody needs somebody or anybody that has the antibody, but there is nobody. Everybody thinks their uncorrupted, but were not. I can’t just come back into line. Cause my line is so fine it actually rater dotted very finely. I need to be guided back into alignment. I like it better when I am with you. Because I need you now more than ever right now. All this doubt has left me to pout when I just need to sprout. Because I don't want to have to scout out what's going to knock me out.

Please sanitize all your ties. Otherwise, all is well that ends well. Cause were falling so fast. Your memory will serve you badly. I sacrifice, myself to my vise. My life is the price, which is well overpriced. Take me away! “You are a fool if you think love don’t work.” Please “stay strong!”