I had a million plus four reasons I wanted to stop nonetheless, what I did to them, left us knuckle to knuckle. All I could do was buckle. I made a grave error, but how far is the grave. I now created. I couldn’t turn around I was now upside down everything was foul and fierce. It's far too late to take cover and my drug was my only true lover. It all caved in and I am at the bottom under of all the rubble that didn’t crash subtle. Slowly trying to pick of the piece I know they fit I watched them plummet. How could I love it? Yet criticized and ridiculed by my family. I was the bad guy. My addiction took me away. Even when I tried to be sober making a full throttle attempt and doing what I was supposed to do they didn’t believe me.
Well, just feed the addiction. I just can’t let go, their hurting me more. Just keep me running in circles through this vicious cycle. Ya, I loved cutting corners. But I thought I was supposed to a start a revolution on my addiction. Yup and that is exactly what I did every time my family cut me down. I doused it with gasoline. Fire on Fire. I needed it more than ever. With this much desire I am a winner not a sinner. They would say your out of control; come on now get out of that sinkhole. But that was my perfection that gave me direction, despite its actions to kill me, take my breath, and steal the things I know. It saved me from being left alone out in the cold.
It was a nightmare how heart wrenching they were. I needed them! I had no support! I was missing my home! I wanted to be dead! All I wanted was them but all we did was fight. I couldn’t see the light to show me which path to take. I remember yelling at them I thought you wanted me. I would not have invested all this time in getting sober if this is how you are going to treat me. I mean my god who develops a psychosis where the're talking to their kids that are not even there. I missed them so much!! They were my reason to live. But they would never believe me.